September 22, 2023


Megan and Nicole dreamt of turning into moms sooner or later, however not anything can have ready them for a way their adventure to parenthood opened up. From preliminary discussions with an OB/GYN to running with a fertility sanatorium, exploring their family-building choices, a shocking being pregnant, and inviting their little ones, they took one step at a time and stored shifting ahead.

That is their tale, informed in Megan”s personal phrases. Revel in!

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Circle of relatives Making plans as an LGBTQ+ Couple

The 2 people have at all times recognized that we would have liked to be mothers. I at all times knew that I sought after to hold youngsters, whilst Nicole at all times knew that she didn’t. It was once mainly a fit made in LBGTQ+ heaven when it got here to family members making plans.

Notice: Many LGBTQ+ {couples} come to a decision early on about which spouse will try being pregnant first (because of age, genetics or different elements), and a few, like Megan and Nicole, know that simplest one among them desires to hold a being pregnant. Those are essential choices to talk about along with your OB/GYN or fertility specialist! 

Clearly we will be able to’t have any “oopsie young children,” and feature to head thru some intensive making plans with a view to have youngsters. We knew that we would have liked to begin the method in Fall 2021 as Nicole was once completing up her Grasp’s stage, as soon as she did not have college taking over all her time anymore.

I (Megan) talked with my OB/GYN at my annual check-up in 2020, and was once informed to touch her once more about 2-3 months ahead of we would have liked to begin the method. My OB/GYN really useful we paintings with Illume Fertility (previously RMA of Connecticut), and we stored the fertility sanatorium’s identify in our again pocket as we started collecting extra details about family members constructing.

Getting Perception from Buddies

We spoke with some faculty acquaintances who’re additionally LBGTQ+ and feature 3 youngsters of their very own, since there may be little or no knowledge simply available in the market. Fortunately, they have been very keen to offer some knowledge and perception into how they began their family members.

We additionally talked with some shut pals who have been simply beginning their procedure with Illume (they welcomed a good looking child lady only a month ahead of us), they usually gave us some additional information at the other exams that they needed to undergo, and gave extra explicit perception into fertility remedy.


Footage: Spoiler alert! Megan & Nicole announce their being pregnant.

At-House Insemination vs Fertility Sanatorium

We to start with thought to be seeking to conceive on our personal at domestic, however then made up our minds that there have been too many unknown variables with that procedure, like tips on how to get the sperm vials to our space, what the most productive syringe is, when in my cycle we must do the insemination, if we would have liked to make use of more than one vials and take a look at on more than one days to extend our odds of having pregnant, questioning if I used to be even fertile or if there was once the rest relating to about my reproductive device, and many others.

All of those unknowns led us to apply the referral to Illume, and get started our family-building procedure with the assistance of professionals.

Making a Plan with Our Workforce

We first met with reproductive endocrinologist Dr. Cynthia Murdock for a digital session in August 2021, and right away knew that we would have liked to proceed together with her as our physician. We mentioned that for this being pregnant we would have liked to make use of my (Megan’s) eggs, however someday, we’d need to believe the use of Nicole’s and take a look at reciprocal IVF.

Dr. Murdock and her crew briefly arrange all the appointments we have been going to wish, from genetic trying out, blood paintings, and ultrasounds, to the consults with the social employee and the genetic counselor.

We have been very grateful for the seek advice from each the social employee and genetic counselor as they helped us to resolve the right sperm financial institution to make use of, dangers of opting for positive donors, in addition to get us fascinated about how a lot we would have liked to percentage with our households, and tips on how to communicate to our kids when they grow older and get started having questions on their donor and their conception.

Which trail is best for you?

IUI vs IVF Fertility Treatment

Beginning IUI Fertility Remedy

After my fertility exams all got here again transparent, we got the clearance to buy our sperm vials and feature some despatched to the administrative center in anticipation of insemination day. I did take some fertility medicines to stimulate my ovaries to supply multiple egg, with the hope that it could building up the possibilities of one among them taking (as we have been doing IUI).

On October 23rd, we went to Illume’s Norwalk administrative center for our IUI process. After all, we have been very frightened the 2 weeks after our IUI to look if it was once a hit, and ended up taking an at-home being pregnant take a look at a pair days ahead of bloodwork showed it. We each cried once we noticed “pregnant” at the take a look at!

Fortunately, I were given pregnant at the first check out, which we all know is an unbelievable blessing, because it does no longer occur for everybody.

One child or two?

Once I were given my bloodwork again confirming the being pregnant, we couldn’t lend a hand however inform all of our fast members of the family.

For Nicole’s facet of the family members, it was once a truly giant deal, as this being pregnant would deliver their first grandkids/nice grandkids/niblings. My facet of the family members was once additionally extremely excited, and my brother and his family members have been excited to in spite of everything have niblings since their very own youngsters have been ages 2 and six on the time.  

Once we gained my first bloodwork effects they usually informed us our beta HCG quantity, Nicole right away had the intestine feeling that perhaps we have been having multiple child. Two weeks later once we had our first ultrasound, we came upon that we have been, in truth, having TWINS!

Notice: Intrauterine insemination (IUI) and a few fertility medicines can building up your possibilities of having twins. At all times speak about the professionals and cons of various remedy strategies along with your physician ahead of starting your adventure.


Footage: Megan & Nicole’s dual ladies, Charlotte & Spencer.

Our Dual Being pregnant Revel in

I had an overly unremarkable and simple being pregnant. We made up our minds to stay the sexes of our twins a secret for us to determine within the supply room. We have been positive that a minimum of one among them was once going to be a boy. To our entire wonder, we have been blessed to have two fantastic little ladies: Charlotte Poppy and Spencer Annabeth, born mid-June 2022.

They got here a couple of weeks early, and spent a brief stint within the NICU, however were thriving since being domestic. They only grew to become one month outdated and handed their due date. All of our friends and family are totally obsessive about them, and despite the fact that we’re biased, we expect they’re the cutest young children on this planet.

What We now have Realized About LGBTQ+ Circle of relatives Construction

The entire means of our fertility therapies at Illume was once so fantastic, and we now have really useful the apply to all of our LGBTQ+ pals. We’ve additionally really useful Illume for our instantly pals and members of the family as they start to believe having youngsters, to seem into the genetic trying out to make certain that their genetics don’t conflict in techniques that may motive issues for his or her long run youngsters.

We extremely suggest attaining out to different LGBTQ+ households and studying about their fertility adventure and studying in regards to the other choices it’s a must to create your family members, in addition to having anyone as a reinforce device to speak issues thru with so you recognize that you’re not on my own.

Listen from extra LGBTQ+ mothers:

Kassie & Sam's IVF Journey

We additionally extremely suggest taking complete good thing about the insights that Illume’s social employee and genetic counselor can be offering. They have been integral in our fertility procedure! With out their lend a hand, I don’t assume we’d have had the similar self belief in our number of sperm donor, agreeing on what we’re keen to percentage with our family and friends, and how we will be able to communicate to our kids someday about how they got here to be.

We nonetheless have a handful of sperm vials left for long run pregnancies, and sit up for running with the crew at Illume once more once we are in a position to extend our family members. At the moment, our dual ladies are holding our fingers complete!

Editor’s Notice: A large thanks to Megan and Nicole for sharing their adventure to motherhood with us. We are so thankful to all the LGBTQ+ households who select to percentage their reviews and insights with our neighborhood. Wish to percentage your tale? Message us on Instagram to be told extra!

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